I am currently embarassed, depressed, extremely exhausted, and disappointed all at the same time.
Yes, those are the things filling my senses since yesterday up to now. Well, I certainly have left some days empty of my rants in this site, and I can't think or write well with Japanese at this juncture. But this time, I'll fill out this diary with a number of blusters.
Physically, my body's weakening: my muscles are strained, and my joints are aching. Preparations for the pageant they forced me into are really stressing me out. I never imagined myself to get involved with it, but I was left without any choice after they submitted my name for candidacy. It's final. I can't back out, and I have to endure the suffering, the aches, the pain, the stresses.
Mentally, my mind's almost running out of oxygen due to a lot of thinking---well to exaggerate it---I almost don't cease for fresh air and sometimes I forget my tummy's acidic and empty. A human brain is only 2% of the body's weight, but dang, mine's driving me insane like it's almost 50% of my load. While a portion's busy studying, a fourth is thinking about a dead laptop. While the linguistic side is rolling over explanations to verbalize, another fourth is thinking about the papers to pass the next day. I am a 30-year old looking 19 year-old human being, and I only get 3-4 hours of sleep from the normal of what's supposed to be 8 HOURS depriving me of oxygen! Does anyone even get me? So, I'm totally stressed out huh?
Embarassed - I left Nam-Hyun studying with himself for 4 hours.
Depressed - I'm convinced my laptop's completely helpless for recovery.
Extremely Exhausted - I'm looking over for the afflictions approaching if I take the step to quit this lousy pageant with all the torturous preparations. So, I'm left with no bright choice again when the situation lets you pick between those that leads to the same outcome---death (so exaggerated huh?).
Disappointed - ..of myself for coming up with the worst decisions ever - the legend of the misfortunate, mischievous, miserable ninja.
I'm a student, a tutor, a candidate, and an all-around amigo. I play these roles all at the same time, 24/7, without facades, all-out, believe it or not. Reasons? I'll blog later, I'm totally O2-deprived now.
JA, MATA ASHITA =P
Dahan psychotic naman tingali ko aning pirmig reklamo!Pero what's amazing despite everything is that I keep smiling---relief --- DAHAN <---bipolar manifestation mani pud ni!!!! Haha